


When Chidder Met Teppic

by Tammaiya



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-09
Updated: 2004-04-09
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7785889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tammaiya/pseuds/Tammaiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Pyramids" from Chidder's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Chidder Met Teppic

When Chidder met Teppic for the first time, it was obvious right from the start that the skinny Djelibeybian was used to getting what he wanted and not having to do anything for himself. Fair enough; after all, he was royalty. He was living in Ankh-Morpork now, though, and the city didn't really give a damn about who he was or where he came from. And if they were going to share a dorm, Chidder was sure as hell not going to put up with any airs of self-importance.  
  
Things got better from there, however. Teppic adjusted to city life, and Chidder was pleasantly surprised to find that he genuinely liked the other boy. They formed a gang, the two of them and Arthur and Cheesewright, and they soon became almost famous1 throughout the Assassin's Guild. It always went without saying that Chiddy and Tepp were the closest, partners-in-crime, because while the gang separated sometimes, those two were almost _never_ apart.  
  
When they were, it was generally a good indication that they'd had a fight of some description.  
  
Like now, for example.  
  
Okay, so maybe Chidder's latest brilliant idea had gotten them into trouble. And alright, being in the black books of the most senior Assassins was not really where one wanted to be. Still, it wasn't _all_ his fault. Teppic had gone along with it. He hadn't actively prevented Chidder from doing so, at any rate. It hardly warranted refusing to talk to him for a week.  
  
As a result, Teppic had been going out an awful lot more than usual and Chidder was hanging around in the dorm moping all the time. Arthur had enough sense to stay out of the way for fear of his head getting bitten off, or something. Cheesewright was either brave or stupid, most likely both, and had put his penchant for annoying Chidder ahead of concern for his own life. Bad move-- after Chidder had gotten him in a stranglehold and threatened to break his arm, even Cheesewright was intelligent enough to leave well enough alone.  
  
Chidder was beginning to fear that the only way to get Teppic to talk to him again would be to apologise. Chidder didn't really _do_ apologies, much- he tended to equate it to being subserviant, and Chidder was subservient to no one unless it was in his best interests. 2 On the other hand, he wanted Teppic to go back to being his best friend. It probably counted as extenuating circumstances; he could make sacrifices.  
  
Teppic eventually returned to the dorm several hours later. The others had all gone out for a night on the town, but Chidder was still lying there.  
  
"You're no fun," Cheesewright had complained. He didn't particularly care, so that was all right.  
  
Teppic didn't even acknowledge his existence, so Chidder decided to get the apology over and done with. "Hey, Tepp?"  
  
"What?" Flat disinterest.  
  
"I just wanted to say. Er. The thing is..." He paused. This was just stupid. Suck it up and say it like a man. "Ah, stuff it. Sorry, Tepp."  
  
Teppic stared at him. "Chidder? Did you just say sorry, or did someone slip something into my drink?"  
  
"They better not have!" Chidder snapped indignantly.  
  
Teppic took one look at his face and burst out laughing. "No killing without payment, Chiddy. It was a joke, anyway."  
  
Everything was right again.  
  
~  
  
When Chidder realised, gradually, that he was spending more time staring at Teppic in class than actaully listening to his tutors, he came to the conclusion that something should really be done. He had always been the assertive one. Well, it was time to assert himself. If his attention was wavering, it could cost him his life in the final exam.  
  
"Oi, Tepp," Chidder commented nonchalantly after class. "Have you ever thought about relationships?"  
  
Teppic rolled his eyes. "Chiddy, do you ever listen? You really should pay more attention in class. Downey was just talking about how emotional attachments are bad."  
  
"Well, duh. That's why I was asking," Chidder lied cheerfully.  
  
Expression wry, Teppic smirked. "Really. Chid, don't bother trying tact, it's not you. I know what you're going to say."  
  
Oh. Bugger. Teppic really did know him too well. "How do you _know_ you know?"  
  
"Because you're about as opaque as glass?"  
  
"Aw, man."  
  
"You might want to work on that. Being an assassin, and all."  
  
"Shut up, Tepp."  
  
"Didn't you want to hear my answer, then?"  
  
Chidder grinned a tinge nervously. "What answer?"  
  
Teppic sighed exasperatedly. Chidder could be such an idiot, sometimes. "I'll show you later."  
  
Later, Chidder decided that Teppic's answer was the most masterful and brilliant ever, even without words.  
  
~  
  
Wondering if Teppic would be there when the four of them agreed to meet up after the final exam was hard, but Chidder had become a lot more difficult to read over the years. Exude an aura of calm self-assurance; don't let it show you're worried about your best friend and lover. You can't afford a weakness, because you're a fully qualified assassin, now.  
  
Teppic had the skill, no question. Chidder wasn't concerned about that at all; hell, Teppic was _good_. Very good, as a matter of fact. Chidder just didn't know whether Tepp had the will to shoot someone. When he'd got to that part of the test, Chidder had been shocked, but you just had to do what you had to do. He wasn't sure that Teppic could do that, when push came to shove. Teppic didn't think like that.  
  
Chidder managed to conceal his relief when Teppic appeared shaken but unharmed, if barely. They met up with Arthur not so long afterwards, and waiting for some time it became apparent that Cheesewright wasn't coming. They would never see him again.  
  
Chidder would miss him. They had been close friends. However, in the light of Teppic's survival... Chidder had to admit to himself that he at least was of the opinion better Cheesewright than Teppic. Petty, yes, and a horrible thing to think in any case. Chidder had never claimed to be a nice person, though.  
  
That was Teppic's job. Hopefully it wouldn't get him killed, one of these days.  
  
~  
  
Chidder was in a state that could best be described as 'shock'. He was unaccustomed to having grass sprout beneath Teppic's feet, and he was pretty sure he would have noticed earlier than this if that was a regular occurrence. In fact, he was pretty sure a whole _lot_ of people would have noticed by now. Then there was the fact that Tepp knew things he was better off not knowing. "Don't ever spill the family secrets," his father warned, and Chidder was wary enough of the old man to obey. He'd never told Teppic anything, but his friend _knew_ , somehow.  
  
Teppic had explained the Djelibeybian belief that the ruler is also a god to Chidder before, but always with a measure of embarrassment. Chidder had quite frankly found it a bit ridiculous, and Teppic seemed to agree. He'd wondered why Teppic had mentioned a cultural belief he didn't even hold himself at first, but eventually it sank in that in hypothetical terms, Tepp was next in line to be deified.  
  
Having a friend and lover who was royalty was one thing. Aristocrats? Chidder knew them by the dozen. They were practically commonplace. The thought of Tepp being a god, however, was incredibly bizarre. You just didn't _know_ gods. They existed, they occasionally smote people to remind them they existed, but you weren't supposed to actually be friends with one. Chidder was quite sure he wasn't supposed to be, anyway.  
  
So he'd brushed it off, forgotten about it. Teppic as a god? Pfft, don't be stupid.  
  
Maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss the idea. Now his father was dead, Teppic was apparently a god after all. Funny how these things worked. He was gone, too, and it suddenly struck Chidder that Teppic might never come back. He had a country to run.  
  
Straight after, it struck him that he had been sleeping with a god. Or someone who was now a god. That did rather put relationships into a different perspective.  
  
Well, fine. Teppic had gone off to be a royal deity. Bully for him. It was probably over, Chidder realised dully. Maybe they'd write.  
  
Did they even have letters in Djelibeybi?  
  
~  
  
Chidder hadn't seen Teppic for months now, and he was firmly convinced that he was perfectly fine with that. It wasn't like he had been counting the hours. 3 Tepp could go play king if he wanted-- Chidder was happy trading. Really happy.  
  
Either way, it was a complete surprise to see Teppic in Ephebe, and Chidder was pretty sure he was hallucinating. However, Teppic turned out to be real, and solid, and _there_ , and it was the best feeling ever. Okay, so maybe Chidder had missed him. Just a bit.  
  
The only problem was, Teppic was in the company of an incredibly beautiful girl. Chidder was almost certain he hadn't expected Teppic to just grab him in a hug and kiss him in public if they ever met again, but he had hoped it would be a bit more welcoming than that. Not that he had thought about it.4  
  
Maybe this really was the end, but being the sucker he was, Chidder agreed to give them a lift. Anything for a friend, right? Especially a friend like Tepp, even if he was with Ptraci. Chidder managed to miss about half the conversation staring at the girl jealously and hoping that maybe she'd burst into flames, but no such luck. Things didn't get much better afterwards, either. He and Teppic avoided topics of any importance like the plague, talking about things like how Teppic's royalty could be financially useful. His monetary use, for Gods' sakes! Chidder was very attached to money, yes, and if it had been anyone else, maybe he would have cared a bit more. Right now, though, he could think of a number of things that he'd rather be doing, all of them involving Teppic and none of them involving talking about finance. If that was not an option, then they could at least be catching up in more depth and possibly talking about Them. As in, their relationship, or current lack there of. Sheesh.  
  
So in the end, Teppic ran off-- _again_ \-- and dumped Chidder5 with one very annoyed Ptraci.  
  
Just fucking wonderful.  
  
~  
  
Chidder set about making it very clear from the start that he did not like Ptraci, and it didn't take much longer before he explained why to her. He never had handled competition very well.  
  
For her part, Ptraci took it quite calmly, but informed him of the fact that she had no intention of giving in just like that. This was war, and it started out quite heatedly with a lot of nasty tricks played between the two and harsh words spoken. They eventually mellowed to each other a bit, floating idly between like and dislike as their moods swayed with the tide. Neither of them were going to give Teppic up. What both of them had failed to take into account was that perhaps Teppic didn't want either of them. After all, he _had_ left.  
  
When they heard the news about what had transpired in the kingdom of Djelibeybi from fellow traders, Chidder had quite frankly found it incredulous and suspected that it was a tale of pure fiction. Ptraci seemed to believe it, though, and it _was_ her country, so Chidder decided to just go with the flow. When she came up with the crazy plan of being delivered to Teppic in a carpet carried by _him_ , he found it ridiculous. He agreed to go along with it, though, just on the off-chance that he'd get to see Teppic one more time.6  
  
Seeing Teppic again, somehow more mature in the months since they’d seen him, Chidder felt his heart skip a beat. Shock, he told himself. Shock that things had changed. Chidder didn’t believe in stupid romantic notions. He hadn’t expected anything this time, and was surprised to find himself upset when Teppic and Ptraci left to talk in private.  
  
“Wait here, Chiddy,” Teppic told him, which was unexpected, and Chidder didn’t take orders much in the same way he did not apologise. He did it for Teppic, though, which seriously proved he needed to consider therapy.  
  
When Teppic returned, he looked oddly hesitant. “Hey… Chidder. Are you going to stay here to help my sister?”  
  
With what? Chidder was going to ask, but stopped in his tracks. Hang on a second. Sister? Last he checked, the only family Teppic still had was his aunt.  
  
“Sister?”  
  
“Ptraci. My sister.”  
  
Chidder stared at him like a gob smacked fish, so he felt compelled to fill in the silence. “I don’t want to be a ruler, Chiddy. I want the freedom to go where I choose, you know? I abdicated. Ptraci is taking my place.”  
  
“Your _sister_? But you… she…”  
  
“We… ah. We only just found out.”  
  
Chidder had a rather comical expression on his face, and Teppic’s eyes widened as he realised what thoughts must be going through his crazy friend’s head. “Hey, no! Nothing happened!”  
  
“Right,” Chidder replied, and looked so relieved that Teppic made a mental note never to mention his ancestor’s practice of marrying within the family. Not like he was going to try it, so no point in upsetting poor Chidder.  
  
“So what are you going to do?” Teppic asked, trying not to sound anxious.  
  
“…About?”  
  
“Ptraci. Will you stay here with her?”  
  
There was a silence as Chidder tried to realign his thoughts, and with a sigh he concluded that while he could do many things for Teppic, this was not one of them. “Tepp… Tepp, I can’t. I’m sorry, but Ptraci and I would kill each other within a year.” 7  
  
Instead of looking disappointed or angry, though, Teppic looked strangely relieved. “Oh, thank you Gods!”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I thought you liked her!”  
  
Chidder’s eyebrows shot up. “What, really? I thought _you_ liked her!”  
  
Pause. “Ew, Chiddy! She’s my sister!”  
  
Chidder rolled his eyes. “Yes, well. I didn’t exactly know that at the time, Tepp,” he pointed out logically.  
  
“So,” Teppic said evenly, at the same time as Chidder said “Right.”  
  
“What now?” Chidder continued eventually.  
  
“Um. I just thought, you know. If you’re not staying here with Ptraci…”  
  
“Yeah?” Chidder asked, trying to sound casual and missing rather badly.  
  
“I was hoping maybe you’d come with me. Like old times.” I miss you, he added in his head. I want what we had back.  
  
If Chidder had not been a bad-ass assassin, 8 he might’ve said “I love you” then. He’d said it before, though, and as he was, he let his actions do the talking, grinning and kissing Teppic hard like he’d wanted to do since they’d split ways a year or more ago. “I’ll think about it.”  
  
Teppic was rather happy not being a bad-ass assassin; he had the training, he had the technical skill, but he just wasn’t cut out for being bad-ass. “Chiddy,” he murmured, mouth next to Chidder’s ear. “I love you.”  
  
Life, Chidder decided, smirking smugly, was pretty damn good.  
  


* * *

  
1 Or was that notorious?   
2 Being subservient to his teachers was definitely in his best interests. He liked living, thank you all the same.  
3 Just the days, which was perfectly reasonable.  
4 Only when he was bored, anyway. Really.  
5 Dumped Chidder in more than one sense of the word, apparently. To say Chidder was not happy would be an understatement.  
6 The thought of asking Tepp to choose between them never crossed his mind. Mainly because it was too scared of incurring the wrath of his conscious self.  
7 As a matter of fact, Chidder thought it was a miracle they hadn’t done so already.  
8 Or so he liked to think.


End file.
